Challenge Your Beliefs

Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.
City of Angels movie

By John Millen

Most of my work involves coaching CEOs and other leaders on how to influence people, as I wrote last week in The Real Way to Change Someone’s Mind.

But the truth is there is someone whose thinking is more important and more difficult to change: our own.

That’s because as humans we look for evidence that confirms what we already believe. Psychologists call this confirmation bias.

It means we constantly search for supporting data, interpret it in our favor and dismiss conflicting evidence.

Sometimes we even attack people with opposing views.

In other words, we don’t just hold beliefs. Our beliefs hold us.

You can see this everywhere, as social algorithms feed us more of what we already believe.

The result isn’t just bias; it’s amplified bias.

Studies from MIT and others have shown false or misleading information often spreads faster than the truth because it confirms existing narratives and triggers emotional reactions.

All of this makes one skill more valuable than ever:

Critical thinking

Not the academic version. The practical, day-to-day ability to question, test and, when necessary, revise your own thinking.

And despite how much we talk about it, there’s evidence we’re not getting better at it. Many students today report reluctance to engage with opposing viewpoints.

In the workplace, teams often default to consensus rather than productive disagreement.

So here are a few ways to strengthen your own critical thinking by challenging your beliefs:

1. Learn to listen without judgment

Most people don’t listen—they reload.

While someone is talking, we’re already forming our response, judging their conclusion or deciding how we’ll fix the problem.

But the brain doesn’t multitask like that. If you’re preparing your reply, you’re not actually listening.

Try something different: be fully present. Ask a follow-up question. Get curious about how they arrived at their conclusion.

2. Seek to understand

In his seminal book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey emphasizes one of the key habits: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Covey shared an event he experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York that illustrates how we can hold mistaken beliefs:

People were sitting quietly—some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene.

Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive, letting his children run wild like that and doing nothing about it—taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too.

So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment?

My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently. I felt differently. I behaved differently. My irritation vanished.

I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely.

“Your wife just died? Oh, I’m so sorry. Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help?”

Everything changed in an instant.

Your conclusions are only as good as the information you have—and you almost never have the full story.

3. Actively seek disconfirming evidence

Don’t just consume information that agrees with you.

If you lean one way politically or philosophically, deliberately spend time with credible voices on the other side. Not the loudest or most extreme—look for the most thoughtful.

The goal isn’t to switch sides. It’s to understand the strongest version of the opposing argument, not the weakest.

That’s where real thinking begins.

4. Argue the other side

In college, my favorite extracurricular activity was serving on the national debate team.

In half of the debate rounds, my partner and I would argue an affirmative case for a legislative change—often a compelling issue of national controversy.

In the other half of the rounds, we would argue against a proposal—often the exact same idea we had earlier advocated.

That experience forced us to fully understand all of the nuances of arguments for and against a position. You couldn’t rely on talking points.

You had to understand the underlying logic, the assumptions, and the trade-offs on both sides.

It sharpened our ability to think critically, evaluate evidence and, most importantly, change our minds when presented with better arguments.

Before you finalize a decision, ask yourself:

If I had to argue against this, what would I say?

If you can’t answer that, you don’t understand your own position as well as you think.

5. Beware of “being right”

Once we publicly take a position, we become far more likely to defend it—even in the face of contradictory evidence. It becomes part of our identity.

Being right feels good.

But getting it right is what matters.

Those are not the same thing.

6. Challenge your self-limiting beliefs

The most dangerous beliefs aren’t political or philosophical.

They’re personal.

“I’m not good at that.”
“I’ve never been able to…”
“That’s just not who I am.”

These beliefs quietly shape decisions, limit risk-taking and keep us in familiar patterns.

Fear often sits underneath them—what’s sometimes called FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

And unlike opinions about the world, these beliefs directly affect the trajectory of your life.

They’re worth examining.

I’m not suggesting you abandon your beliefs or change them on a whim.

But you should fully understand them.

Try this:

Pick one belief—about your business, your personal relationship or yourself.

How did you come to that conclusion?

Is it still valid?

What evidence would change your mind?

Because some things are true whether you believe them or not.

The question is whether you’re willing to find out.