How I Control My Speaking Anxiety

By John Millen

Public speaking anxiety is a common hurdle that can hinder even the most seasoned professionals. Many of my clients become completely locked into an anxious mental spiral. Just thinking about their anxiety makes them more and more anxious.

After speaking with sales leaders at a conference in Phoenix last week, I was asked over dinner about how to control this type of anxiety. I shared my number one strategy, which is simple but not necessarily easy to implement. 

The key to overcoming your anxiety lies in a shift of focus. Instead of fixating on your own nerves and insecurities, redirect your attention to the needs of your audience. 

By centering your thoughts on delivering value and helping them, you can transform anxiety into a powerful tool for effective communication.

I practice this one strategy every time I communicate, without fail. Whether I’m speaking to hundreds of people, training a small group or coaching an individual, I don’t feel anxious because I’m 100 percent focused on their needs.

Write down this phrase and keep it near you: It’s not about me, it’s about them.

Here are five practical tips related to this core strategy, which will help you control your anxiety while communicating in any setting or size audience, from hundreds to just one person.

1. Shift from self-focus to service-focus

Anxiety often stems from a heightened self-awareness, but it can be mitigated by shifting your mindset. Instead of dwelling on your nervousness, concentrate on how you can serve your audience. Shift your mindset from self-focused concerns to a service-focused mentality. 

Concentrate on how you can serve your audience through your message, insights or expertise. Consider what information they need, what questions they might have and how your insights can benefit them. 

When you realize how much you have to offer people, everything changes. By making their needs the focal point, you'll find your anxiety dissipating as you become a source of valuable information and insights. This shift in perspective not only eases anxiety but also enhances your effectiveness as a communicator.

2. Make your content relevant

Effective communication is rooted in delivering content that addresses the needs of your audience. Instead of worrying about how you're perceived, channel your energy into creating a presentation that provides value. 

Share stories, statistics or examples that resonate with your listeners. When your audience recognizes the relevance of your message to their lives, your anxiety will take a backseat to their engagement.

You’ll see them perk up and listen, which will instantly boost your confidence.

3. Embrace authenticity

Today people appreciate authenticity more than ever, and by being genuine, you create a connection that transcends anxiety. Share your personal anecdotes, experiences or lessons learned. Being real fosters trust, making your audience more forgiving of any mishaps. 

Remember, your audience is more interested in your message than in critiquing your delivery style. Whether your subconscious believes it or not, people are rooting for you. They actually want you to succeed.

4. Engage them with interaction

Engage people with interactive elements to divert attention from your nerves. Pose questions, encourage discussions or incorporate activities that involve your listeners. 

This not only keeps them actively engaged but also provides you with valuable moments to gather your thoughts and maintain your composure. Again, seeing them engaged will boost your own confidence.

5. Practice mindfulness techniques

Mindfulness techniques can be powerful tools to manage anxiety. Focus on your breath, practice visualization or incorporate grounding exercises to stay present in the moment. 

Do these things with the mindset that your mission is to serve these people. By staying mindful of your audience's needs, you redirect your energy away from your self-doubt toward the people you’re helping.

Remember, the key to conquering your communication anxiety lies in shifting your perspective from self-centered worry to audience-centered service. 

The power of public speaking lies not in perfection but in connecting with your audience and delivering a message that serves their needs.